Twelve Days
by SFP83
Summary: Inu/YuYu crossover. kagome/hiei. OPEN AT OWN RISK! Package contains sidesplitting laughter, and crude humor. Strong bladder control is advised, you have been warned.


Twelve Days  
By SFP

A/N: This is a repost of the original. Thank you to AnimeHuntress for beta-reading this for me.

An uncle of mine, who past away in March of this year, had given this to my grandparents years ago. I have no idea where he got it from; I do however know my grandparents got a huge kick out of it, along with half my family, so I decided to share it with you. I have taken the liberty of changing the names to better fit my purposes and added a little at the bottom to make it more realistic to the pairing of Hiei and Kagome. Thank gods, for dear devoted family, who are much loved and have a grate sense of humor. Carl, you will be missed. Happy thanksgiving, Marry Christmas and happy new years everyone, even if it is a little early!

DISCLAIMER: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. YuYu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. I make no money from any of this.

(Oneshot)

The first day of Christmas. . .

December 14, 2008

My dearest darling Hiei,

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real partridge in a pear tree? How can I ever express my pleasure? Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The second day of Christmas. . .

December 15, 2008

Dearest Hiei,

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtledoves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The third day of Christmas. . .

December 16, 2008

Dear Hiei,

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist you've been to kind.

All my love,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The fourth day of Christmas. . .

December 17, 2008

Dear Hiei,

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The fifth day of Christmas. . .

December 18, 2008

Dearest Hiei,

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.

Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The sixth day of Christmas. . .

December 19, 2008

Dear Hiei,

When I opened my door today there were actually six geese a' laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh?

These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

Cordially,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The seventh day of Christmas. . .

December 20, 2008

Hiei,

What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny.

So stop those freaking birds.

Sincerely,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The eighth day of Christmas. . .

December 21, 2008

O.K. buster,

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and eight maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.

Just lay off me smartass,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The ninth day of Christmas. . .

December 22, 2008

Hey Shithead,

What are you, some kind of sadist? Now there are nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours!

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The tenth day of Christmas. . .

December 23, 2008

You rotten prick,

Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long.

Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.

I'm calling the police on you!

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The eleventh day of Christmas. . .

December 24, 2008

Listen Fuckhead,

What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

Your sworn enemy,

Kagome

__________________________________________________________________________________

The twelfth day of Christmas. . .

December 25, 2008

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Kagome Higurashi.

The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss Higurashi at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight.

With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially

Law Offices of Badger Bender & Coal

__________________________________________________________________________________

Hiei glared at Yusuke, holding the last letter he had opened in a clinched fist. "This, detective, is the last time I ever let you do my Christmas shopping for me!"

Yusuke rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, "well excuse me! How, was I to know the mail would be backed up, and you wouldn't get any of her letters until two days after Christmas!"

"You had better hope I can remedy this mess, cause if not . . ." the short man glared even harder at the fidgeting male standing in front of him.

Yusuke prepared himself to run as fast as he could, right after he said his next sentence. "Well . . . You do have to admit . . . It is kind of funny."

~fin~

A/N: To all the reviewers who prayed or sent well wishes for my son and I, or even to our whole family. THANK YOU!!! I credit you (for your prayers and well wishes) and the wonderful doctors who took care of my son, for his seedy recovery. -Smiles-

Now, to all my dear devoted readers, thank you so much for your understanding of my lack of updates on my other stories. I am so, so sorry about not updating in a while. Life has been stressful lately. Again thanks for understanding.  
~SFP~


End file.
